Sunny with a Chance of French Toast
by TheUnregisteredAnimagi
Summary: One fine Saturday morning when the birds were chirping and the Giant Squid was craving for French Toast, Sirius Black wakes up. Yes, you heard right, he wakes up. By himself. Oh, and he wakes everyone else up as well. 'Morning' Being the key word there. Worth reporting to the Daily Prophet, don't ya think? I mean, its the middle of 6th year, and its never happened before...
1. Prologue

Unicorns and centaurs, hippogriffs and trolls as well as fanfiction readers and all other unimportant things, welcome! So yeah, this is my first longfic, but I don't really know how long its going to be yet...

Before you start reading, a few warnings...

Firstly, if you happen to be ElephantsRuleTheWorld or SiriusOrionBlack22 (anyone else can skip this section), I would like to send my sincerest apologies to any harm done to your reputation and also like to take this wonderful opportunity to tell you that absolutely NONE of this was directed at you. So don't get offended. But, however, if you (for some reason yet unknown to scientists) get offended, then I would like you to know that I will have nothing to do with the matter momentarily. Once again, this was not written to offend you. Or anyone else who happens to be reading this even though is not required to.

Yes, I know this isn't much of a prologue, but more of a summary written in a very un-story like manner. However, you must agree, 'prologue' sounds a lot fancier than 'summary'.

You may notice in the very near future that James and Lily have a civil relationship. That is because they made a truce that permits them to behave civilly to each other, provided James doesn't behave like an 'arrogant toe rag'.

Well then... ENJOY! :D


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Here it is!**

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**CHAPTER 1**

"For the love of Merlin, _WAKE_ _UP_!" screeched Lily. I mean, _really_ screeched. As in yelled screeched. I think you get the idea. Basically, she screeched really loud.

Somewhere in the distant land of the Gryffindor common room, a girlish scream could be heard. On second thought, sounded a lot like Sirius actually.

"Lily?" I called.

"Yes, James?"

"Could you _PLEASE_ shut up?" groaned the other voice in the room (Remus).

"Sorry? Didn't quite catch that, Remus." replied Lily.

"Hey, Lily?" I called again.

"Yes, James?"

"Was that Sirius who was screaming like a dying hippogriff two seconds ago?"

"You mean that conceited nutcase with an overinflated ego downstairs? I believe it was. Now could you please kindly move your backsides OFF the bed, preferably within the next 10 seconds - unless you all want to get hexed to the Caribbean - and meet me at the lake after having breakfast? Serious Sirius matters to discuss… **(unintended pun)**." replied Lily.

"Hey Lily?" I called for the third time.

"SHUDDUP, JAMES!" yelled Remus, clearly unable to contain his anger. Never was a morning one, that child.

"Sorry, Remus… Hey Remus?"

"AAARRGGHH! Are you insane?"

"Who me? No, I'm James. Are you awake now?"

"Nooooo, James. WHY THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK I WOULD BE TALKING TO YOU IF I WAS ASLEEP?"

"Sorry, mate, only curious. After all, its only…" I glanced at the clock "...four in the mor…" I paused. "I GOT WOKEN UP FROM MY MUCH NEEDED BEAUTY SLEEP AT BLOODY _FOUR IN THE MORNING_?!"

"This better be good, mate, or else I am going to KILL THAT WOMAN!" said Remus, slowly getting up. Good. At this rate, I never thought I would see the day.

"I hope you didn't mean that literally, mate. If anything happened to Lily, I think I would jump off the astronomy tower." I told Remus without hesitation.

"I'm still here, you know…" came an annoyed voice outside the door.

"_LILY?_" we both shouted in sheer surprise.

"No, its Daffodil. _WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE!?_"

CRAP. I mentally kicked himself until I fell out of bed. Onto the hard wooden floor. On my nose. Sheesh. Didn't know mentally kicking yourself hurt that much. I'll try slapping myself next time.

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I was the first down to the kitchens. I think. Moony was still getting changed. Last time I checked, he was still busy trying to fit his right arm through his trousers, Wormtail had probably already gotten hexed to the Caribbean, Lily was with Sirius, and Sirius… lets just say he's with Lily. I tickled the pear and entered.

A glance at the 52 plates stacked at the sink confirmed my suspicions. Yep, there had been a Sirius raid this morning. I decided to stick with my latest theory about his intestines being longer than the rings of Saturn. I'm really starting to feel for Wanda, the poor house elf has to make food for Sirius (he insisted that she should be the only elf cooking for him), who has an appetite larger than the Giant Squid. And that, my friends, is saying something. I really shouldn't be causing more trouble for her, but my inner self is demanding some French Toast...

"Wanda?" I called.

Wait 5 seconds.

"_Waaannndaaa_?"

Wait 5 more seconds.

"WANDA?"

Wait another 5 seconds. Patience? I have none. So I gave up. I walked through the small wooden doors to the actual kitchen where the house-elves cook, only to discover them snoring. Wait a second, house-elves snore? I spotted Wanda over near the right corner, so I headed that way.

Poke.

No response.

Poke twice.

No response.

Poke three times.

No response.

Accidently on purpose drop a cauldron on the floor.

Response.

"What could Wanda do for Master James?" came a sleepy voice. I looked down and saw Wanda, my favourite house-elf. I look around and find myself surrounded by another hundred, now well awake. Oops. Next time I'll drop a spoon or something maybe just a tad smaller.

"Uhh… French Toast please, Wanda."

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**Review please!**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: So... the second one!**

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**CHAPTER 2**

I headed out of the big oak doors down to the lake. I greeted the Giant Squid with a cheerful 'good morning' (and left over French Toast) as I walked past to the beech tree, where I saw a red head sitting with… Padfoot?

"Late yet again, Potter?" said Lily.

"Back to 'Potter' are we? Well, _Evans_, there was a bit of a delay with the food, and fair enough I reckon, cause who in their right mind would want to wake up at four in the morning?"

"Sirius" answered Lily.

"Siri..._SIRIUS_?!"

"Yes, James, Sirius" and when she found me gaping at her with my mouth hanging open, she added "You know, the arrogant pig head who happens to be your best friend and woke me up to wake you up this fine morning?" And when I was still too shocked to respond, she gestured frantically to the man sitting next to her.

"Padfoot? _You_ of all people woke up at _four_ on this fine, sunny day? What, did Moony bribe you with a lifetime supply of chocolate from his secret stash or something? And why are you wearing a knitted wool scarf with flying unicorns on your head that Peter bought you for Christmas last year? You look like a bloody Arabian fortune teller who fantasizes about Martian unicorns!"

"…*sniffle*..."

"Uh...Padfoot?"

"…*sob*..."

I raised an eyebrow at Lily, but then Remus arrived, and all attention turned to him.

"You late too Remus? Would have expected better from you… you know, 3rd year prefect and all?"

"You see, I had a bit of an encounter with the house elves. Apparently they don't like to be woken up at ten past four in the morning. Especially when they were trying to get back to sleep after someone -he smirked at me- woke them up by accidentally *cough*on*cough*purpose*cough dropping a cauldron on the stone floor." There must have been fright written all over my face, because Remus quickly added, "Yes, Prongs, they told me."

"So, I have heard from a couple of people who were kind enough to voice their opinions that four in the morning may not have been an ideal time for this meeting, but Sirius here insisted on having his issue fixed before…"

And out of nowhere, Alice Prewett, Lily's best friend, decided to appear out of thin air. Or so it seemed. Was she even meant to be here? Oh, that's right. Lily and Alice come as a package deal. Alice could not separate from Lily, as Lily could not from Alice, and Alice being… well, Alice, also could not separate from Frank, so technically, Frank could not separate from Lily… Wait WHAT? Never mind…

"Sorry Lily, just got held up by the house elves. You know, they don't really seem to be too fond of the concept of making breakfast at quarter past 4 in the morning."

"Yes, yes, so I've been told. Right… well now that most people are here, we can comme…" started Lily.

She was interrupted as Peter came running down the hill - or rather, came waddling down the hill like a lost duckling. And then attempted to speak. Attempted, meaning talking while breathing through his nose and mouth and simultaneously choking.

"So-so-sorry *gasp* I'm *breath* la-late. I *gasp* only *choke* wo-wo-woke *gasp* up two *gasp* min-utes *breath* ago and *gasp* I*gasp* j-j-just…"

"RAN INTO HOUSE ELVES WHO WEREN'T HAPPY TO SEE YOU CAUSE THEY GOT WOKEN UP AT FOUR YADI YADI YA! Now could we please _STOP_ complaining about what time the poor, innocent house elves wake up and focus on the matter at hand. Thank you. Now, Sirius over here..."

"Actually, Lily" started Peter, "I was just going to ask why the sky was blue."

"Oh" Lily said, turning a nice crimson. After a moments thought, she added, "Because it felt too silly to be pink."

"So the sky is pink because it felt too silly to be blue?" he asked.

"No, the sky is blue because it felt too si… OH NEVER MIND! Now, back to the matters at hand. Sirius here…"

"…*whimper*.."

"…has had a slight unfortunate…"

"Tragic." corrected Sirius, who seemed to have collected himself.

"_Tragic_ incidence, which seems to have occurred this morning. It seems that he has…"

"Sprouted a grey hair?" I questioned. Sarcastically, mind you. I did not, I repeat did _NOT_ expect an answer back.

"Correct James, _LOTS_ of grey hair." Lily, soon joined by Sirius, chose that very second to glare at me like I was the Giant Squid gobbling up a first year's French Toast. Yes, he loves French Toast, probably best not to tell you why. Maybe some other day. I swear, if looks could kill, I would be a pile of ashes. But alas, I'm talking about a red-head who has a fascination for the Caribbean, so I would most likely be hexed to the Caribbean first. It was not long before I realised that everyone seemed to be expecting some kind of explanation.

"Grey hair at 16? Not good mate. I heard it's the first sign of old age… incorrect response... I mean...erm… IT WASN'T ME, I SWEAR!" I held my hands up to indicate innocence. Phew. This whole center of attention thing? Doesn't seem to be working as well as usual.

"Then, James, _WHY_ is it that you seem to know what's going on?"

"Well, I may or may not have accidentally gotten confused with Sirius' shampoo and Snivellus' white dye that we were going to gift him for his birthday…"

"YOU WHAT?" screamed and yelled (insert all other loud action verbs here) everyone under the beech tree. Everyone except Peter, that was. He was too busy muttering in great detail to himself about what colour the sky was going to be tomorrow. And I swear to Merlin I just heard the Giant Squid giving a loud yelp as well.

"'Me what', you ask? Me innocent."

"Oh, I don't think so…" sneered Lily and Sirius together.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Lily?" asked Sirius.

"I think I am, Sirius." she replied.

And with that, Lily lunged at me. But of course, due to my amazing Quidditch reflexes, I side stepped and the poor thing face planted. On the other side of the tree, a loud splash was heard. All heads turned to the lake. And oh, what a comical sight! What better way to start the day than to see your best friend being picked up by the Giant Squid, drenched from head to toe with grey hair dripping all over his face?

"Clearly, Sirius, we most certainly WERE NOT thinking of the same thing." cried a much-amused Lily.

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**PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!**

**THANKS TO ANYONE WHO ALREADY HAS :)**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Yes, mates. The next chapter is up! Hurrah for me! It took me the whole morning so you better like it! Also, it would be great if you guys could give me some ideas as to what I should put in the coming chapters. Thanks for your help and hope you like it :D**

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A while later, dear old Padfoot was looking quite normal, thanks to the walking pomfret (a name which we gave Madame Pomfrey in second year), except for the slight grayish tinge that could still be seen in his hair and for the fact that he was unconscious in a hospital wing bed with the curtains drawn (he would murder me if anyone else walking by saw his new hair-do).

Whether he passed out from the shock of being nearly eaten alive by the Giant Squid or he just never noticed how hideous grey his hair really looked until he saw his reflection in the Giant Squid's eyes, no-one knows. But for self-entertainment purposes, I would like to think of it as Sirius was mistaken for an oversized piece of French Toast and was almost swallowed whole by the Giant Squid, who was suffering from a very serious case of French Toast deficiency. Thankfully he wasn't diagnosed with pneumonia, although a life without Sirius would mean not waking up at four in the morning due to a slight malfunction with the use of white hair dye.

Right now, that great friend of mine was sleeping peacefully on a bed in the infirmary, while the rest of his average friends sat on the other side of the curtains (minus Wormy - he had just excused himself go and do who-knows-what). And then there's me of course! No, I am NOT a part of his 'average friends'. I always knew I exceeded expectations.

Anyways… I really don't think it's a good idea to stay around just incase Padfoot tries to get back at me for accidently damaging his hair when he wakes up. But being the oh-so-amazing friend I am, I will wait until he decides to accuse me before retreating.

It wasn't long before we saw a mop of brown hair poking out of the curtains.

"PRONGSIE!" he bellowed, at which Lily and Alice raised their eyebrows. I thanked Merlin that the walking Pomfret was having a lunch break, or else they would have landed themselves in detention.

"Uh… Padfoot? You may want to step out of the curtains unless you want too look like a floating buffoon," I told him. Very sincerely, if I may say so myself.

"A floating buffoon?" clarified Remus.

"Yes Moony, a floating buffoon."

Sirius attempted to make his way out of the curtains, but somehow found himself tangled and wound up in them, resulting in a white cocoon with legs sticking out, before unceremoniously yelling, "MOONY! HELP!"

"Oh no! Sirius Black is stuck in curtains looking like an artificial cocoon! It's the apocalypse!" added a very sarcastic Remus waving around his hands.

"MOONY, THAT ISN'T HELPING! I CAN'T BREATHE!" Sirius whined, causing Lily to sigh. She pointed her wand at the white cocoon, which immediately came undone and dropped a now maroon (from the lack of oxygen) Sirius on the hospital wing floor with a thump.

"Thank you dearest Lily-flower, it seems that you are the only one who cares about me here," he sniffed, giving death glares at his best mates and Alice.

"I just didn't want to be killed by your fan girls," she shrugged, making Sirius glare at her. Remus, Alice and I exchanged a look, before bursting out laughing.

"At least they care about me," he stated proudly, at which us boys, who had composed ourselves, started laughing on the floor again.

"What?" asked Sirius innocently, and when no-one paid him any attention, tried to walk away from his bed. What he didn't realise was that he was still standing on the white curtain, and when he started to move, he slipped and hit his head on the floor. Charming lad.

"THIS NEVER HAPPENED," he announced, quickly recovering from the slight shock and brushing himself off before standing up again.

"Why ever not?" asked Remus, with a face that was now red in colour from holding in a laugh.

"Because no one needs to know that I, the one and only Sirius Black, came out of the shower with white hair and then almost got eated by the giant squid and then looked like a giant cocoon when he came out of a harmless hospital wing bed," he screeched, stomping his foot on the floor to emphasise his point.

"Err… _eated_ Sirius?" asked Alice.

"Shut up. I was never good at spelling ok?"

"That's grammar, Sirius," she told him with a very serious look on her face. Haha! Get it? Sirius! Bloody brilliant. Now that evil twit has got to me.

"GETTING TO THE POINT," he bellowed, successfully earning him attention, "If _dearest_ Prongsie here never mixed up my shampoo with Snivellus' white hair dye - he shot a pointed look at me. Aaahhh! There it is, my cue to leave soon... - then I would have never gotten tangled in _THE BLOODY CURTAIN!_" he exclaimed.

All four of us snorted.

"I DID NOT GET TANGLED, IT WAS TRYING TO EAT ME!" he yelled.

"Sure it was," grinned Remus, patting his back in mock comfort.

"IT WAS JEALOUS OF MY HAIR!"

"Yes, we know mate," answered Remus, rolling his eyes, while the others chuckled heartily in the background.

"Where's Wormy?" questioned Sirius out of the blue.

"He stopped hanging around a decade ago, Pads," I told him.

"But we didn't know him then!" he stated, thoroughly confused.

"A phrase, Padfoot," I told him whilst rolling my eyes.

"What's that?"

"I really think he needs to go see Mungo's for advice to cure his mighty thick-headedness," muttered Lily under her breath, only loud enough for Remus, Alice and I to hear, which caused everyone to immediately start snickering.

Sirius, who had not an inkling about what was going on, looked at them like they were fish out of water. And then his eyes widened as he remembered why he was in the hospital wing in the first place.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU PRONGS!" he yelled.

I raised an eyebrow at his sudden change in behaviour. It only took a few seconds for realisation to dawn on me. Time to make my great escape.

"Erm… I'm just going to go to the… err… Quidditch… THE QUIDDITCH PITCH!" I yelled, thankful that my wonderful brain thought of an escape. Lovely brain. I always knew you were smart. Good brainy. You'll get a prize later.

Everyone was now looking at me like I was an insolent nutcase. In my defense, I grew up around Sirius Black, world number one in scandalous-ism.

"To fly?" asked Sirius incredulously.

"No, Pads. To plant mandrakes," I replied, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Really? I was under the impression that you do that in the greenhouse," he said thoughtfully, with a glaze over his eyes, clearly not detecting the sarcasm.

I rolled my eyes and walked out of the doors of the infirmary, towards the pitch. Seriously, how thick could a person get?

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**Please review, I would really like some more comments and thanks to all who already have. I appreciate your time!**


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